Our Little Geekling

Hahahahahaha! (That’s me laughing about it NOW.)

So today Eriana and I left Target and the people in the car on the passenger’s side of ours were trying to leave at the same time. So I parked our cart behind my car and got Eriana out to put her in, because it was windy and a bit chilly and she has a cold, so I didn’t want her out for longer than necessary. I put her in her carseat, but didn’t strap her in, closed the door, and went to the cart to grab the cart cover and wait for the people to leave so I could finish getting Eriana strapped in and get going home. Eriana needed a nap, and I had a lot to do, because we’re leaving for Mexico on Friday morning (!). Then the car beeped. And I FREAKED OUT.

See, it didn’t register until the car beeped that Eriana had the keys. And knows how to push the buttons. AND HAD JUST LOCKED THE CAR WITH HER INSIDE AND ME NOT. I started banging on the window and talking to her. “Push the button, Baby. Good! Now push the other button. No, Honey, the other button. No, Eriana, the OTHER button. No, you had the right key. Push the button, Sweetie. Good job! Now push the other button.” You get the idea. (She kept pushing the lock button again.) I realized that if I did get her to push the right button, she wouldn’t be able to push it twice to unlock all the doors, so I went to the driver’s side so if she unlocked it I could open the driver’s door AT ONCE.

About three minutes into the debaucle, I called Jim. Then an old lady came to talk to me and tell me that I should just call the fire department. So I had an old lady in one ear and Jim in the other, and Jim texted me the phone number to our insurance company’s roadside assistance, who I called. And they connected me to the police station who sent a wrecker (why not just a locksmith, I’ll never be sure) and a police officer. The insurance company said they would reimburse us for the charge but that I would have to pay the locksmith directly out-of-pocket. (At this point I was trying really hard not to scream, “ARE YOU KIDDING ME? IF THEY WANT A MILLION DOLLARS I WILL PAY THEM THAT! MY BABY IS IN THE CAR!)

So I hung up with the insurance company, and I was talking to Eriana, and she dropped the keys over the side of her carseat, and started getting a bit restless. I could hear her yelling, “Mama”, and I could see that she was starting to break down. I kept talking to her, and patting the window. She took off her shoe and showed it to me, and I told her, “Good job, Baby!” because I was trying to keep her happy. A couple of other people came up to me in the parking lot to see if I was okay, and I explained that I was, that I was waiting on the locksmith because my baby was locked in the car.

Internally, I was freaking out (I suppose externally I was, too, because I was SOBBING on the car), and kept thinking If she gets really upset she might wiggle right out of her seat (she’s kind of hyperactive that way) and I really should have made those people wait and strapped her in and taken my keys. I was tweeting, too, because, well, Twitter and my friends inside the Internet help me through all sorts of stuff!

Finally (it was probably 5 minutes, but it seemed like an eternity), I saw the wrecker and waved them over. The cop pulled up right after them, and the officer was super nice. Eriana got excited about the BIG TRUCK and STOOD UP IN HER CARSEAT (OH MY FREAKING GOSH, HOLY CRAP, BANGING ON THE WINDOW AND SHOUTING “ERIANA, SIT DOWN!”), and the cop laughed, asked me how old she was, and told me that he had a son who was 17 months old. I said something like, “Oh, then you know how much trouble kids can get into at this age!” and he assured me he did. I said, “I am generally a really good mom, I promise. Please don’t call DHS.” He assured me he would not.

The wrecker guys got the passenger’s side door open, and then unlocked the rest of the doors. I sort of scuttled back and forth trying to figure out the best way to get to MY BABY and got her out through the driver’s side back seat. I was still crying, of course. The cop made sure I was okay then told the wrecker guys goodbye and left. I got my wallet and went to pay and they told me they wouldn’t charge me for this. The guy who was driving also told me that it happens a lot and I shouldn’t feel badly. I thanked them profusely, and snuggled into my sweet monster a bit more, then put her back in her carseat, making CERTAIN that my keys were on my wrist, not in her hands.

Then I got in the driver’s seat, texted Jim, tweeted an update, took a bunch of deep breaths, and went home (where I took a swig of vodka right from the bottle and then poured myself a generous glass of wine). If I didn’t need a vacation before, I definitely do now! In two days that’s exactly where I will be!

She looks so innocent!

(That’s quesadilla on her shirt. And that’s her scrunchy smiley face. I love her.)

Moral of the story: NEVER GIVE YOUR KEYS TO A CHILD WHO IS IN THE CAR UNLESS YOU HAVE ANOTHER DOOR OPEN. Learn from me, Friends, learn from me.

(HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA?)

Thank you all for your kind comments on my last post. I really appreciate your thoughts, prayers, and insight.

Some quick takes for your Friday evening:

-I read a lot of books in February and March, but I haven’t updated my books list. I should do that, huh? (Apropos of nothing, I’m reading Kris Jenner’s autobiography right now, and even if you dislike the Kardashians as an empire, she has a lot to say about the O.J. Simpson trial since Nicole Brown Simpson was her best friend. Interesting stuff!)

-Eriana had her 15-month well check today and she is a healthy, growing girl. She weighed 22 lbs, 3 oz (35th percentile), measured 31.25 inches (75th percentile), and her head was in the 50th percentile. Her doctor did mention that her weight is low, but not alarmingly so, and her percentages are (apparently) better than last time. She had two shots, and she did great, with minimal hysterics, but she was super sore and whiny this evening.

-Our vacuum died a horrible death yesterday (officially; she’s been sick for awhile), and I had to buy a new one today. We’re partial to the Dyson brand, so we got another. But we’re on a more limited budget than last time we bought one, so I opted for the space-saver one, for a savings of $200. It seems to work just fine, I’ll just have to empty the canister more often.

(The handle pulls up for regular use, but Eriana will be able to use it with the handle down in no time!)

-I bought Eriana some clothes at a garage sale today, and all that was left for shorts/skirts for summer were size 2T. I’m hoping her cloth diaper will take up the extra space in her pants area and she’ll be able to wear them this summer. (I really should have thought ahead before the consignment sale a few weeks ago!)

-Yesterday we had dinner at the home of some friends, and they don’t have any pets. Their house was really clean; our house is really dirty in comparison. I guess that’s the price you pay for having a zoo?

-In one week we will be in Mexico.

-I might get to go to Africa with my church this summer.

-I like this. A LOT.

(via Pinterest, via amandatolleson)

-I bought new glasses, and they should be in next week. I’m excited. (It’s possible they’re in already, but when the optometrist’s office called today my phone died and they probably think I hung up on them. And Eriana was in the bath then I forgot to call them back.)

-I wish my hair looked like Marina’s from Fresh Beat Band (the old Marina… we only have one season on Netflix).

-Here’s what I’m making for dinner(s) this week: TexMex CrockPot Carnitas, Italian Meatballs, Deconstructed Gyro Salad, Cottage-Flower Pie, and Chicken Salad a la Queen.

What’s going on with you?

Every once in a while I have a flash from my Worst Day, and my heart starts racing. Usually I can keep from having a full-on panic attack, but sometimes I can’t. Regardless, that moment of that day is all I can think about for a few hours, and it’s really hard to get through the day when that happens. Just a few minutes ago I had a flash of calling my dad to tell him about Angel’s death, and him being SO excited to hear my voice, knowing I had been in labor and was probably calling to tell him about the baby, then hearing him crack and break down as he began to cry for our loss.

The flashes come more often when I’m emotionally charged about something (or hormonal) (or, YIKES, both). Once I had one during a particularly difficult workout and until my trainer yelled, “Tara, get out of your head!”, I couldn’t shake it off. I’ve been doing okay lately, but today I’m feeling frustrated and emotional, and I’m guessing that’s why this flash occurred. (There’s some, uh, major family drama going on with my extended family, and I can’t/don’t want to talk about it here, but it sucks. And it involves someone in the family being excessively stupid and exceptionally selfish, and it’s hurting a lot of people.)

Anyway, my point (if there is one) is that these flashes are a part of my depression, a part of my memory, and a part of my forever. I’m certain that as time progresses I will be able to get through emotionally charged situations on regular days without having flashes (though I don’t believe time heals ALL wounds, time has so far proven to be my ally), I am wondering what I should do in the meantime. Perhaps ask my trainer to record himself yelling “TARA, GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD!” so I can play it when I can’t shake my anxiety? Go for a run? Have some chocolate? Blog? I think I’ll have some chocolate now, and see if that helps. (Erin sent me some York Peppermint Patties in a CDP, and I feel like I should be eating some right now.)

Here, a picture of my baby in closing.

Aside from my List, and alongside my favorite actors/celebrities, there are people I’d really like to meet. Here’s my list of them:

1. Barack Obama. Okay, whatever, a lot of my readers are family and are super conservative and strongly dislike the President. But I do not dislike him. Despite not voting for him (almost) four years ago, I support him and the things he’s accomplished in his presidency, and I plan to vote for him this November.

2. Ellen Degeneres. Oh, I just adore her. She’s funny, strong-willed, intelligent, and politically and socially aware. She’d be so fun to have dinner with!

3. Bill Gates. Really, I would love to sit down with the Gateses to talk about their charity, but if I had dinner with them, I’d have to bring Jim and he’d just talk to Bill about computer stuff the whole time.

4. Bob Harper. I’d really like to workout with him! I don’t think I belong on The Biggest Loser, but especially since he has been integrating CrossFit into his group workouts, I think Bob and I would get along great!

5. Neil Patrick Harris. He’s not on my List because he’s gay, and that would be fruitless (ha, as if the others on my List would be fruitful), but I think he looks like lots of fun! Plus, his twins are just a couple of months older than Eriana, so we could hang out as families. He and David seem like a fun couple!

6. Tom Hanks. He’s my favorite actor. He seems very real for a celebrity.

7. Rachel Maddow. She’s just great. So politically and socially aware. Jim and I would have a blast with her!

8. Khloé Odom. Whatever; she’s my favorite Kardashian. Shut up. She and I could have a great time together!

9. Michelle Obama. I know the president is listed above, but if Mrs. Obama can’t make it to the meet-and-greet with her husband, I’d like to meet her, too. How awesome is she? Also, I could teach her how to do a proper push-up. Because apparently her trainers don’t want to tell her.

Who do YOU want to meet?

And because every post needs some Eriana, here’s my favorite girl concentrating really hard at dinner tonight, using Jim’s pen to write on her menu. Looks like she’s a lefty for now!

(After a full day of me putting her headband back on her and saying, “No; if Mama puts something on your head you leave it there”, she has been leaving on her headbands. Still not crazy about barrettes, but we’ll get there. Gotta tame the mullet/mohawk/rat-tail combination somehow!)

I don’t use proper grammar all of the time. My vocabulary often stumps me. I end sentences with prepositions, I split infinitives, I use far too many contractions and way too many commas. I forget when to use a semi-colon and when a comma will do. But I know how to use an apostrophe and when to hyphenate something, I know how to use you’re, your, there, their, they’re, except, and accept. (I do have trouble with effect and affect, but that’s a hard one.) I know $10 words but prefer to use 5-cent words instead, most of the time (not in papers for school, of course). And, like everyone, I have grammar pet peeves.

Let me share a few with you:

-Idea versus ideal: An idea is a conceived thought or opinion. An ideal is a perfectly conceived idea or the conforming to a specifically conceived standard.

-Regardless versus irregardless: Please think about it. You probably mean regardless. Because irregardless means without without regard, or regarding. Double negatives cancel out one another.

-Hangar versus hanger: One is where you park a plane (hangar); one is where you hang your coat (hanger).

-Hung versus hanged: You hung your coat on a hanger; he was hanged for his crimes against humanity.

-Sneaked versus snuck: Snuck is not a word, so this one is easy enough to remember.

-Ellipsis: an ellipsis (dot, dot, dot) implies an omission of something, or that the thought will continue. It does NOT mean the end of a thought or sentence. And if you end EVERY sentence with an ellipsis, all it is is annoying. Because it’s almost as if you’re asking the person with whom you’re corresponding (via text, email, Facebook, etc.) to complete your thought, which is not realistic.

-Attempting to make something plural with an “apostrophe s”: No. Just no. Using “apostrophe s” makes a word possessive. So if you write “bananas are on sale for $.44/bunch”, then the bananas are only $.44/bunch. But if you write “banana’s are on sale for $.44/bunch”, then evidently there is something belonging to the banana that is on offer, but we don’t know what it is!

-First annual… whatever: First annual means the second year. Inaugural is the first year, not the first annual. The second year should be first annual, the third year second annual, etc. Something isn’t annual unless it’s been done every year for awhile (at least two years).

-Less versus fewer: LESS is used for things that cannot be counted (Less waste; more recycling!); FEWER is used for things that CAN be counted (More paperless billing; fewer trees being cut down!)

-So-and-so and I (namely in photo captions): No. No, no, no, no, no. Take away the other person and you would write “ME at Tokyo Tower”, not “I at Tokyo Tower.” So why write “So-and-so and I at Tokyo Tower”? ME! Channel Miss Piggy and remember “Me me me me me me me me me!”

I’m glad Jim uses proper grammar. He sure corrects me a lot. True love, y’all.

So, since I wrote a practical post on things I wanted to buy (and did buy much of) I also want to write a post on things I don’t necessarily need, but want regardless. In the interest of full disclosure on some of these, you should know that I’m a big geek.

1. Patronus Shirt

2. Horcruxes Shirt

3. Owl Shirt

4. Engravable, stackable rings

5. Accio Keys Keychain

6. Bookshelf Necklace

7. Purple TOMS

8. Striped Bag

9. Library Embosser

Oh, and just because she’s so cute, here’s my favorite girl on the swing at the playground. The swing and the slide were the biggest hits.

Oh, you guys, it’s pouring down rain here and I love it. But I’m going to Mexico in 17 days, and I’m SUPER excited about it. Despite failing miserably at my personal Whole30 challenge, I’m still excited about going to the tropics. Taking a card from Elizabeth, I decided I don’t need a lot, but I do need some new stuff for summer. Last summer I lived in ill-fitting jeans and too-small shirts. Despite my weight/size loss, my clothes are mostly either too tight or too loose, and about 80% of them are 6-8 years old and in need of replacing anyway. So I’m stocking up on some essentials that should get me through the brutal Oklahoma summer, and thought it would be prudent to go ahead and shop, since I’m in need of clothes for our trip, and since it’s already been in the 80s here. (Stupid Oklahoma weather!) So I need capris, t-shirts, comfy skirts, a couple of dressy things, and a rash guard (pale, pasty me needs protection from the sun!).

So, as a refresher, I bought this swimsuit. And I bought some board shorts at Walmart yesterday (in black). Here are some things I have picked out that I need to order, buy, or try on. Colors will vary, of course.

1. Summer Shade Tee from Athleta

2. Women’s Fold-Over Jersey Skirt from Old Navy

3. Women’s Tie-Waist Dress Pants from Old Navy

4. Women’s Tri-Blend V-Neck Tees from Old Navy

5. Women’s Soft Vintage Crew-Neck Tee from Old Navy

6. Women’s Welt-Pocket Bermudas from Old Navy

7. Women’s Trouser Jean Capris from Old Navy

8. Women’s Chambray Tie-Waist Capris from Old Navy

9. Women’s Belted Cap-Sleeve Dress from Old Navy

Add a couple of $2.50/pair flip-flops from Old Navy, take into account the ~10% of my current wardrobe that fits properly and is season-appropriate, and I’m ready for my trip, for visits to the pool this summer, and to have lots of outdoor fun with my favorite little monster. Isn’t she cute?

Pretty much every time Eriana does something cute (which, in my unbiased opinion, is a LOT), I think, Oh, that’s my favorite thing. Every new word, every new development, every crazy look. I love. I tell her all the time that she’s my favorite girl. And she is. My favorite baby that ever lived. Here are a few of my favorite things. Think in tune with the song, if you wish.

-When others clap and she claps along.
-Her cheesy, scrunchy-face smile.
-When she gives kisses freely.
-Eyebrows raised, as if she’s very skeptical of the situation at hand.

-Hugs and kisses she gives to her dolls and animals.
-That she understands what I’m telling her (Eriana, where is your shoe? Will you bring me your shoe?)
-When she looks in the mirror, leans really close, squeals, and says, “Nahnahnahnahnah!” (We wonder if she is trying to say her name when she says that.)
-When you ask her if she wants to eat, along with the sign, and she puts her hand up to YOUR mouth to do the sign instead of her own.
-How sometimes when she gets caught doing something she isn’t supposed to she pushes it away (such as when she pulls the cords she can reach from behind the entertainment center, then pushes them back when she gets caught).
-How about 80% of the time when she is reading to herself she is looking at the book upside down.
-The way she says “shoes.”
-Snuggles.

-Her fake reply laugh when you laugh at something she says or does.
-Her giggly squeal when she gets super excited.
-The way she shakes and shimmies along with the “Get the Sillies Out” song on Yo Gabba Gabba (you gotta jump, shake, shimmy them out…)
-Her sweet, sweet wave hello and goodbye.
-How she waves and grins on request or if we leave the room.
-How excited she gets (and points toward the garage door) when she hears the ding of the door opening when Jim gets home.
-Her “hi” sounds like “haaa”, like she’s a teeny hick.
-The pride in her face when she stands on her own or takes a few steps (come ON, child, just WALK ALREADY!).
-When she says, “Mama, mama, mama, mama” over and over again.
-When she lifts up her shirt to show you her belly.

-When I’m doing something in the kitchen and she stands up right under me because she wants to be close to me.
-How she tries to help put on her shoes and socks (usually trying to put her sock or shoe on the same foot on which I’m trying to put the other sock or shoe).
-How she shuts the door to her room or playroom and knocks back and giggles when you knock on the door to let her know you’re there to open it (I need to buy these!)
-When she gets SO! excited about our dogs and cats and yells “DOG! HI DOG!” or “CAT! HI CAT!” at them from across the room, while waving frantically.
-When she gets SO! excited about Jim, whether he’s asleep or not, and squeals and reaches for him as we walk through the bedroom (such as on Sunday mornings when we go to the master bathroom for me to get ready for church and he’s still in bed).
-The look on her face when she saw a helium balloon for the first time. (This is mid-OH, which she said, between giggly squeals the whole way home.)

-When she waves to or smiles at strangers in a store and then looks at me like, Why isn’t she waving back, Mama? Why isn’t he looking at me? (I usually tell her, then, that we don’t know that person and not everyone has to wave at her.)
-How sometimes if you say, “I love love love you!” she’ll say, “love love love love love!” Makes my heart hurt.
-That she climbs onto or into everything she can, like a lovely little monkey.

And millions more. Man, she’s wonderful. My favorite.

You guys. I’m ashamed to admit this, but I didn’t even make it a week on the Whole30 this time around. I wanted a drink to unwind last Saturday after my niece’s birthday party, and I didn’t look back. I’ve been doing well with my food since then, eating mostly Paleo, and of that mostly Whole30-approved, but I am back to Diet Dr. Pepper and wine. I just… I failed. I’m not happy with myself, but I am okay with ending early. I’ll do it again, eventually, and I’m still going to work really hard before Mexico, but I am not in it for the Whole30.

Dang.

Redemption?

Kthanx.

Since I’m a glutton for punishment (and because I’m going to Mexico in 31 days), I am starting a new Whole30 tomorrow. I’m going to post meal plans and attempt to keep a food log, so I created a special page on this blog for that. I was really happy with my results the first time around, but I think I can do better. And I bought a swimsuit yesterday, so that’s good motivation.

Eep!