Our Little Geekling

We’re back!

(You didn’t know we left. That’s because I didn’t want to post on here that we were leaving and risk our house-sitter getting robbed. )

My super enthusiastic family at the Bean.

Anywho, we are back. Last Tuesday we flew to the Chicago suburbs and Sunday we flew home. It was a good trip! Jim is really in his element with people who have known him forever. His cousin, A, and her daughter, Z, were there, and had been for about three weeks. They were settled into a nice routine for us to disrupt. But it worked out, and Jim and A were back to BFF right away and acting like teenagers, and I really love seeing him like that. Jim’s grandma was a wonderful hostess and was so kind to open her home to our crazy little family. She was also so gracious with our schedule and adding meeting up with blog friends, and with some of Jim’s family members driving in to see us on Saturday.

These girls. Gosh, are they silly.

(Eriana did FANTASTICALLY on the plane. She put on a really good performance of a well-behaved toddler. Even when my seat neighbor from Denver to Chicago saw there was a kid in his row and I saw his face fall, I think she proved to him that kids can be okay. I had a bag full of tricks, but the things that worked best were: Kindle loaded with videos for her to watch (she wouldn’t wear her headphones), notebook and a million stickers (okay, like 400, but still, she didn’t go through them all), and snacks. She napped on two of four flights for almost the duration, so planning flights during her nap time was ideal. I borrowed a GoGoBabyZ from a friend and we used it on the way there through the airports, but didn’t hold our breath for an extra seat on the way back and just checked it with her car seat and used the regular stroller in the airports.)

From Denver to Chicago.

Eriana and Z got along as well as 1 1/2 and 2 1/2 year old girls can. There was fighting and hitting and frustration, but also lots and LOTS of giggling. Eriana’s language has exploded since hanging out with Z and as early as on the plane ride home we were hearing strings of words we hadn’t before. Too bad E wasn’t as influenced to potty train! (I kid. Kind of.)

On GG’s swing; Looking at a squirrel (Eriana’s face cracks me up!), but they’re holding hands! 

At the Bean; Snuggling with GG’s dog, Buddy.

Thursday we drove into downtown Chicago and met some bloggers for lunch and it was lovely. I’d only met Pseudostoops previously, but Sara is coming to The Blathering this year, and I’d gotten to know Anne on Twitter. I got to meet (and hold!) baby Simon, and it was so great to see these lovely ladies outside of my computer screen. Jim and A were troupers and came to lunch and met my “imaginary” friends* and we walked around Chicago afterward and went to see the Bean.

Man, I love this picture. My girl and me in the Bean.

On Saturday Jim’s mom drove in from Michigan and we spent the day with she and her fiance. Eriana was a bit bashful, but warmed considerably by the end of their visit. She’s just not a super open kid. It was nice for her to get to meet her Grandma Ruth. She’s so used to just knowing my side of the family since they’re local that I’m really glad when she can see others. She adored her GG (Grandma Great) by the end of our trip and was excited to see and recognize her in her photo album when she was flipping through today, as before she had just been a face without any more dimension.

Looking at pictures on GG’s iPad.

Overall, despite some travel problems (I overpacked CONSIDERABLY and we had to pay a heavy bag fee on the trip there; Jim left his and Eriana’s jackets on our first flight and we had to buy new ones in Chicago – I wrote an email to Frontier’s lost and found and am hoping they found them!) and some family awkwardness that will occur when you aren’t used to being around people, it was a good trip.

I loved the weather in the northern US, and miss that a lot. But I was really glad to get back to our bed and our familiar house on Sunday night.

*I’ve always referred to Jim’s gaming friends as his imaginary friends, and now my blogger/online friends have the same moniker, even though I’ve met many of them IRL and he hasn’t.

Quick takes…

-I am really excited about our trip this week. Jim has had some stress at work and is ready to get away, and I’m looking forward to not HAVING to go somewhere or HAVING to do something for a few days.

-Things have been good, really. I was super stressed last Friday, but otherwise have been okay, good even. I have had time to do things I need to and time to do things I want to. It’s been raining a lot here, which I love. Eriana didn’t throw up at all last week. She’s been in a great mood for the most part, and has been amazingly obedient and helpful and snuggly. My busy girl hardly ever snuggles, so I love it.

-Last Monday afternoon I got out of the car at my mom and stepdad’s house and Eriana ran across the driveway to me. It was very surreal. This driveway where I played my whole childhood at this house where I lived for the first 18 years of my life, and here’s MY child running to me around the front of my childhood home, living her childhood right in front of me.

Eriana in front of the yard of my childhood home.

-Eriana has several baby dolls that she loves to snuggle and talk to. One has a tiny high chair with tray and bib and a little potty, and one the same size has a bathtub, and it’s amazing to me what Eriana understands. She’ll try to take off the baby’s pants to put her on the potty (even though she’s only showing minor interest in using one herself), and put the baby in her high chair and feed her with a bowl and spoon. She washes the baby in the bathtub and wraps her up in a washcloth. She has another, big baby that she’ll hold up to the window and talk to, and point outside, telling her baby some story about the back or front yard. She snuggles them, hugs them and pats their backs, gives them kisses, and takes very good care of them.

-I’ve started wearing my Angel necklace again everyday, since Eriana is old enough that I can ask her not to pull on it. She says “Angel” and kisses it and lifts it to my mouth to kiss. And when we’re home she points to the curio cabinet that holds photos of our Angel and her urn, and says “Angel!” and then “shhh” because the baby in the picture looks like she’s sleeping. Someday we’ll have to tell her what happened and that she’s supposed to have a big sister, and it hurts so much.

I am planning to write a paper about Gardner’s theory of multiple intelligences and its role in information organization in education. And I’m really excited about it.

*Captain Miller (Tom Hanks) in Saving Private Ryan

Halp!

In just a few weeks we are boarding a plane and traveling to visit Jim’s lovely grandmother outside of Chicago. With Eriana. Who has never been on a plane.

Sidebar: We “won” a plane ride from a silent auction at our church that we are hoping to fill in the weeks before our trip, but our friends’ plane on which the ride will take place is a little plane, not a big one, so while the plane ride with our friend will get E in the air for the first time, it probably won’t be indicative of how she’ll behave on flights to Denver and then Chicago (and then back). End sidebar.

So we did NOT buy Eriana her own seat, and we plan to bring lots of stuff to hold her attention (plus some goody bags to give to the flight attendants and surrounding passengers). But WHAT do we bring to hold a 21-month old’s attention for several hours on a plane?

-Kindle with shows downloaded (probably will invest in more Amazon videos than we already have) and a coloring app
-DVD player and DVDs (what kind of headphones for a toddler!?)
-Magnet or felt board?
-Legos for building?
-Books?
-Color wonder pack with markers and coloring book?
-Snacks!
-Baby doll with clothes to take off and put on (why is this fun, Eriana?)

Also, unrelated to entertaining a toddler on a plane: We will have a stroller and carseat to gate check, and plan to put Eriana in disposables for the week we’re gone (and buy a pack when we get to IL, only taking enough for a few days initially). And! We plan to carry-on her monkey harness/leash to let her expend energy in Denver during our layover. Any other tips?

You guys. Help me, please!?

Unrelated to all of the above, just because I am trying to bribe you into helping me, here’s a cute picture of my kid. Okay, thanks!

Because I’m a follower, not a leader…

(Thanks Holly, Sarah, Laura, and Elisabeth for letting me be a lemming.)

Rocking pajamas.

Enjoying being home with my loves.

Watching “Weeds”!

Drinking hard cider. But I’m about to open a bottle of wine.

Wondering if Eriana will sleep all night tonight.

Waiting for someone to give me a million dollars.

Feeling very happy that it’s the weekend.

Reading Poisonwood Bible.

Dying of the cute that is Ezra dancing on this post of K’s.

Loving that Eriana said, “bless you” after I sneezed tonight, then fake-sneezed and blessed herself. Man, I love that kid.

Surprised that I missed Eriana so much after being away from her all day today.

Planning to sleep in tomorrow, then make waffle breakfast sandwiches (inspired by Sprog, but will be less… full at our house).

Excited for a drive to Dallas next weekend with Eriana!

Drink thief. 

Well, we went to Mexico. We had a really good time! We got to relax, we hung out in and by the pool, went to a wedding on the beach, went to a water park in a lagoon/marina, ate good food, and drank some delicious, all-inclusive drinks. We didn’t have a crying baby on the other end of a baby monitor, but we missed our little monster like CRAZY. Here’s how the trip went:

-Left home at 4am on Friday, April 6. Got to the airport at about 4:30, parked, and then went through the whole thing with security, etc. Got moved to better seats (with legroom!) where we wound up sitting next to a guy in the AF who has the same job that Jim had when he was in, and they talked the whole time (they really are a whole different type of person – not a bad thing) about the job and people they both knew, etc. Small world.

-Flew to Atlanta. Ate breakfast. Got on another plane. Sat in front of an annoying family with three kids. The parents were the problem, though. (I fully expect for children on vacation to be excited. I also expect for parents to keep them as quiet/restrained as possible. I didn’t mind the kids kicking my seat, although I hoped the parents would ask them to stop, and I didn’t mind the youngest kid YELLING about the ocean for the last 45 minutes of the flight, though I hoped the parents would ask him to stop. I DID mind the DAD kicking my seat, and the MOM pulling on my seat to get up (they did a lot of musical chairs amongst their family.) I also minded them getting out into the aisle so we couldn’t put our bags down after we landed, and not letting me out (Jim was already in the aisle) so I had to squeeze out and maneuver my carry-on in a weird way (all the while telling their kids to be sure to thank the pilot on the way out!).) Also sat next to a divided family, and the dad kept coming up to ask questions or deliver snacks, turning sideways to talk to his wife, and bending over so his butt was in my face. Lovely.

-Took 3 hours to get through customs and immigration in Mexico. Are you kidding me?

-Got to the hotel to find that the travel agent had booked our room for the wrong nights, so we were counted as a no-show on Thursday (for a Thursday-Monday reservation) instead of having a room for Friday-Monday. Were forced into talking to the consierge before we could go eat (it was about 4pm by now and we hadn’t eaten since 9am). FINALLY got to our room and had to wait another hour before we got our bags (also didn’t know how to work the electricity in the room – you had to put your key in the wall), and then I discovered I had forgotten my cell phone charger.

Oh, but, hey, this was our view from our room:

-Dinner and drinks with the wedding party on Friday night, relaxing and swimming on Saturday, wedding then dinner and drinks on Saturday evening/night (I pulled an Irish exit (uh… the first definition on the page that links to – NOT due to intoxication at all) and went to bed about 9pm this night – Jim came up at about 10:30. We party hard!). Sunday at a marina/lagoon water park where we zip-lined, snorkled, and walked around (only downsides: they asked that we use their chemical-free sunblock to “protect the marine life” which didn’t work and I got fried; my big ‘ole thighs rubbed the inside of my swim shorts and my legs are still raw) all day. Sunday evening dinner at the fancy hotel Italian restaurant for my birthday (veal ossobucco – YUM).

This is where we spent all day on Saturday: in the pool with this view:

And Sunday after dinner (sorry, I forgot my camera, so a picture from my phone is all you get):

-Monday we got up and went to breakfast, then said our goodbyes. We didn’t get a fancy shuttle back to the airport (we rode in a tricked-out Expedition to the hotel, but were shuttled in a van with another family back), but we got there okay. Had lunch, then boarded. (No upgrade here – flight was full; I actually cried on landing in Atlanta because I was so nervous (related – don’t fly with me).)  We ate dinner, then waited for our flight to OKC (got moved to seats closer to the middle/front of the plane – I think the trick is that I can’t be near the back or the engines on the wing or in front of it I’m much better!) and went home. Our sweet girl was sleeping when we got home, but had a rough night, so we wound up getting to snuggle her around 3am. She was really excited when she woke enough to realize it was us.

So, back to real life. It was a good vacation! But I’m glad to be home. I think it was really good for Jim and me to get away together. After almost 10 years together and almost nine years of marriage, I still really like the guy. He’s my favorite person in the world, and I think it’s important to be reminded of that when real life takes over.

Eriana at my grandpa’s on Saturday. She was really hurting with out us, obviously:

Since I’m a glutton for punishment (and because I’m going to Mexico in 31 days), I am starting a new Whole30 tomorrow. I’m going to post meal plans and attempt to keep a food log, so I created a special page on this blog for that. I was really happy with my results the first time around, but I think I can do better. And I bought a swimsuit yesterday, so that’s good motivation.

Eep!

Last week Jim’s carpool buddy told him he got a new job and would be quitting soon. So we needed a second car (or I had to forfeit EVER LEAVING THE HOUSE FOR ANYTHING EVER DURING THE DAY WITHOUT WALKING 5 MILES ONE WAY TO GET THERE). Today we went shopping for said second car. Last week I determined our price range, applied for a loan through our bank, did a LOT of research for cars in our area in our price range, and figured out what the blue book prices were, looked at CarFax reports and organized my list by preference of cars. This morning we drove to western OKC and test drove a sedan that was in our price range, top of my list, and was… crap. I mean, it was an okay car, but for what we could get in our price range for a second vehicle and for the age of the car, it was scratched up, not well-maintained, and just not something I would want to drive everyday with my toddler in the car. We wanted something safe and more sustainable, so we moved on.

So we were on our way to the second dealership, and I had been playing Draw Something giving Jim time to think because I could see the wheels turning in his handsome head. And just when we got to the next dealership, Jim says something to the effect of, “What if we trade in the Prius and got two used cars?” And I, knowing that he’d been thinking about this for awhile (and probably many days, not just the minutes it took us to drive from point A to point B), said, “Let’s go to the Toyota dealership so we can get the best deal on a trade in. They had some good used cars when I looked online.”

So we got to the Toyota dealership* and we started looking and we started test-driving, and we started making decisions. And… four hours later (WHY DOES IT TAKE SO LONG TO BUY A CAR… or two?), we drove away, leaving our beloved Prius in their lot, and with me behind the wheel of a 2011 Scion XB and Jim behind the wheel of a 2009 Honda Civic.

And, even though I took my meds this morning, I had a panic attack that lasted about that long. I am the WORST about paying for stuff. For big stuff. Okay, for any stuff. I get so anxious. When we closed on our house I thought I was going to have a heart attack. When we bought our tv and washer/dryer in the same day (we paid cash!), I couldn’t stand up in the store. Oh, Lordy, today I was so freaking thankful for my husband’s calm disposition, lack of proneness to freaking out about stuff, and ability to calm me with a touch. TWO CARS, Y’ALL. (I know, since we traded in one car, it wasn’t REALLY like buying two cars outright, but STILL.) Of course, my signature on the debit card receipt for the down payment was almost unrecognizable because of my shaking hand. Oh, man.

I didn’t take any pictures of our cars. Jim’s Honda Civic is blue. Our Scion XB is black (whatever; I know it should be his and hers, but it’s his and ours because the Scion is our family car while the Civic is his commuter car. We’ll see how long the terminology lasts.).

Eriana was really cute yesterday (okay, she’s cute everyday. I really, really like her.), and you should really just focus on that. Three glasses of wine later, and that’s what I’m doing.

Oh, she’s wonderful.

*If you are local and want a recommendation on a salesman at our local Toyota dealership, I would be happy to provide the name of our salesman. He was awesome. Just email me: tara AT ourlittlegeekling.com.

My family and I took our first long roadtrip since Eriana’s birth. It was her first time out of Oklahoma, and her first time in the car for a continuous amount of time longer than about an hour-hour-and-a-half. We went to visit the W family in Little Rock, about a six-hour drive from the OKC area. Matt was one of Jim’s best friends in high school, he and his wife, Stacyi, came to see us a couple of months ago when they were in town for a concert, and we got to meet their son, Triston, for the first time. He’s 5 and super spunky. We also got to see the L family, some friends we met when we were stationed at Yokota who are now living in Little Rock. Their daughter, A, was born in May of last year, and it was so fun to see them and meet little A.

Eriana did fantastically, all things considered. She slept the first half of both car rides, and cried for the last 45 minutes or so of each car ride (well, on the way there she cried for about 45 minutes and then fell asleep 20 minutes out from our destination). But, you know, she’s a baby. (At the time of writing, we have been home for about an hour and she has been in the best mood ever.) We slept in Triston’s room on an air mattress, and brought the pack-n-play for Eriana. She slept in our bed the first night and in the pack-n-play until about 5am on the second night. She’s been having some sleep regression issues anyway, so I didn’t really blame her or expect her to be a good sleeper all of a sudden in a new place and in her pack-n-play in the same room as us. Also, her pack-n-play is usually in our bathroom so she can play while I shower, so it’s not really a place she associates with sleep.

We had a great, great time. Man, will it be nice to sleep in our bed tonight, but it was really nice to get away. The W family was awesome. Totally accommodating and great. So accepting of Eriana’s craziness, so great with allowing her to make a mess of their home. They took us to a fancy restaurant and introduced us to the most amazing brownie ever on the Earth, they made us delicious fajitas and a wonderful breakfast (well, Stacyi gets all the credit for both meals), Jim acted like a teenager again and stayed up until 4am talking and giggling with Matt like they were girls. It was awesome to see him with someone who has known him since they were freshmen in high school and who truly knows him. I love that. Plus, Triston and Eriana are equals when it comes to energy levels and ridiculous busyness. So, that was fun.

The L family was amazing, too. They cooked us a super delicious brunch, Eriana got to play with A (and, apparently, show her how much fun crawling is, because A nailed that skill later on in the day) (totally not Eriana’s doing, I know, but it’s fun that it happened that day), and we got to catch up after about 2 years of lots of stuff going on.

All in all, it was a fantastic weekend, and we’re really glad to have gotten to go see all of them, spend a weekend away, and get to have some fun outside of the confines of the Oklahoma City metro area.

Here are some pictures from our trip. All were taken/filtered in InstaGram on my phone.

Intense “Yo Gabba Gabba” watching in the car.

Eyelashes. She was super, super grumpy and then finally fell asleep again with 20 minutes till we reached Little Rock.

Eriana and A playing together. So, so cute. About the same size, even though Eriana has 5 months on A. I adored A’s personality. And her big blue eyes are almost hypnotic!

I discovered that sweet potato tater tots exist (at Sonic), and Eriana passed out mid-bite (tot remains on her belly) after we left the Discovery Museum.

Eriana and Triston in a rare, quiet and calm moment when we were getting ready to leave. These two together, man, were so, so crazy. Love the spunky kids!

Oh, and a big shout-out to my baby sister, Kendal, for hanging out at our house with our pets all weekend! WOOHOO! (Here’s a picture someone took of her that I stole from Facebook that I ADORE. )

I feel like I sometimes give the wrong impression about my life, whether here, or on various social networking sites. The wrong impression about how things work around here. I give the impression that Eriana’s not sleeping or her tantrums or the way she behaves bothers me or is a problem. I give the impression that because we have stresses there might be problems in my marriage. I give the impression that because I have weight issues I am unhappy with who I am. I give the impression that because I couldn’t find a good paying job, being a SAHM was a last resort. I give the impression that the things I want to change about our house make me want a different house. I give the impression that because my hometown was our last-but-only choice that it is impossible for me to be happy here. I give the impression that my depression makes my life awful. I give the impression that the financial problems we’ve experienced have made life unmanageable or put us into a hole so deep that we won’t recover.

Here’s the truth, Internet. Life sometimes sucks. Life is sometimes hard. With the issues and problems of daily life, there is sometimes a need to vent, to whine, to let out some frustrations. And since I pay for this domain, this is a space in which I can do that. And since I sometimes need some advice from various people on the Internet, I vent or whine or ask advice on social networking sites. And I open a Crappy Day Present and I hug and kiss my husband and I snuggle my baby and I pet my dogs and cuddle my cats and curl up under my favorite blanket on the couch and I get ready for a new tomorrow.

Eriana’s not sleeping is not a problem. I have tried so many sleep theories that I can’t even remember them all. I have tried CIO, I have tried going in every 5-10-15-20-25-30-35-40-45 minutes, I have tried everything. EVERYTHING. And you know what? She usually gets tired and grumpy, sleeps or doesn’t, and then is fine after about 30 minutes of awake or however long she wants to sleep, and is her happy, sweet self again. Her tantrums are not a problem. I am fully aware that she is smart, that she sometimes is manipulative, and that I cannot cater to her every need. And I don’t. She is an only child, likely forever, and has a lot of freedoms. But if she whines and cries she gets ignored or told to stop, depending on the situation. If she falls and tries to overreact to a situation, we shake it off. If she throws her cup or bottle on the floor, she gets it back twice more and then it’s gone. If she throws all of her food on the floor, she doesn’t get more. She is NOT spoiled, despite being an only child. And she’s wonderful. She’s happy, she’s independent, she’s content, she’s smart, she’s amazing.

There are no problems in my marriage. Jim and I are more in love now than ever. He is the light and love of my life, my soul mate, my everything. I love him more than life, more than anything. He is my biggest fan, my best cheerleader, my favorite person, and so, SO supportive of me. I give him as much support and love as I am physically and emotionally able to exhaust. I am so appreciative of him, and I am in awe of him everyday. Just because there are stresses in our lives does not mean there are problems with our marriage. Marriage is hard, some days harder than others. But it’s worth it.

I am in a constant battle with the outside criticisms of my youth that try to tell me I’ll never be pretty or thin enough, that I’ll never be good enough. But I’m happiest now with my body and my looks than I’ve ever been, and as hard as I’m trying, things can only get better. I’m PROUD of myself.

Being a SAHM was always my first choice. When I was pregnant with our Angel, I had planned to be a SAHM. This was not possible when Eriana was born, and so I worked for 7 months. And then I had the opportunity to come home, and here I am. Someday I might have a career. But being a full-time mother was always my FIRST choice.

I adore our house, our home. We picked it. Just because there are things I would change, and other homes I admire doesn’t mean I would want a change we might not be able to afford. Most people want to change some things about their homes, and being a homeowner is not easy.

Coming to this town was the only way to leave Tokyo when we did. I couldn’t bear to be there anymore. It was all too much. Having to see the babies of people whom I was pregnant alongside, and having to tell people what happened to our Angel, and having to walk past the closed door of the nursery that would have been hers in our apartment, and knowing it was another year of that, plus Jim being unhappy at his job, made me need to leave. And coming here was the only place the military would allow (well, to this area, not necessarily this town). I am happy to be going to school at OU, and I am happy that Eriana is getting to know her family, my family. And I have lovely, lovely friends for whom I am so, so thankful. But Jim and I have never thought this would be forever. And we’ll see where his job and my prospects and my studies take us in the next few years.

My depression is manageable. I am back down to one anti-depressant, and CrossFit has helped my moods immensely. I have so much for which to be thankful, and I’m glad to be able to count my blessings and to work through my depression. There are so many people that struggle with greater chronic depression, and I am thankful that mine is manageable.

Our financial situation is none of your business. I realize that I may have overexerted my explanations, though I’ve never given anyone specifics. It’s not hard to imagine that a basic, entry-level salary in Oklahoma plus freelance work over a year’s time that included having a baby and 8 weeks of maternity leave would stretch us. We are doing fine. We are doing well. We are paying all of our debts and our bills each month, and we have long-term plans for savings. We are going on vacation in April, and hopefully in September. And I am hopefully going on vacation in October and November as well. Things are fine.

So, Internet. I apologize if I’ve given you the wrong impressions about my life. My life is grand. Some days are grander than others, but it is always grand.

How could it not be?

Well, I suppose my blogging break after NaBloPoMo is over. I’ve milked it as long as I can.

______________________________

I finished (sort of) Eriana’s playroom! I rearranged everything, and put all of her toys in there. I moved the unused tv from our bedroom to the playroom, along with an old DVD player that was at the top of a closet. Presently I’m sitting on the guest bed, Eriana is playing on the floor, and Sleeping Beauty is playing on the tv. It’s not completely decorated, but it’s playable!

I made this (which, wow, was way more difficult than necessary) to go in the room.

I moved our “Today is…” activity boards (we have one in English and one in Spanish) (Hanging on the closet door in the below picture) to the playroom wall, but Eriana kept taking the patches off and chewing on them, so we had to move them higher for the time being.

I hung some twine and put some of Eriana’s “artwork” on the twine with clothespins. And I commissioned my little sister to paint an owl family on canvas to hang in the room. I’ll take pictures of the room once we sell/give away the treadmill that was given to us and Kendal is done with the painting.