As noted in the last post, there were too many funny things to share in June for just one post. Here is your second installment!
@bryanmosher: June 11, 2012: Started to explain the solar system to Blaise and Camilla, but I couldn’t bring myself to say “our solar system has eight planets” #plutofan
@TwoAdults: June 11, 2012: Come on, Tina, you fat lard. Come get your dinner.
@TwoAdults: June 12, 2012: @alldressedup Grab it by the balls! Fun doesn’t stand a chance! I’ve had too much coffee!
@alldressedup: June 12, 2012: @TwoAdults I am going to sexually harass the hell outta fun today, yo!
@TwoAdults: June 12, 2012: @alldressedup Rawr. Inappropriately touch Fun for me today.
@jonniker: June 12, 2012: @TemerityJane And not that porny yet, which is okay for me, because my vagina is not ready to have an imagination yet.
@jonniker: June 13, 2012: The thing is that I covet Miley Cyrus’s fiancé, and that feels really gross.
@notraisingbrats: June 13, 2012: @mrsdangelo it’s the age. I think the stage is called drive momma bat shit crazy.
@HBapothecary: June 14, 2012: This couple’s been full-on making out since check-in. Congrats! Your love is so strong it made it to the Internet!
@DonnaMcKee: June 14, 2012: Sometimes I wonder if my dog licks me because he loves me, or because he wants to know what my flesh tastes like in case he has to eat me.
@TwoAdults: June 14, 2012: I just had to Google what “ICYMI” is an acronym for. I will take my AARP card now and go home.
@fatmosh: June 14, 2012: All this talk of new TLDs makes me feel old-man-off-my-lawn-y: “Back in my day we had seven top level domains AND WE LIKED IT!”
@That_Biz: June 15, 2012: My ass is turning into one big Chick-Fil-A waffle fry.
@purplelara: June 16, 2012: “how to not kill spouse on moving day” oh sorry, thought I was on google.
@bearca: June 16, 2012: So Joey Fatone has a food show and Vanilla Ice has a home improvement show. I look forward to Bieber’s contribution in 20 years.
@TemerityJane: June 17, 2012: “You and your sister went through a ROLL of toilet paper a DAY.” I refuse to apologize for our vaginas and buttholes, PHIL.
@homesweetsarah: June 17, 2012: Babies are fucking bipolar on crack. One second: THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER!!1!1. Next second: LIFE SUCKS I WANT TO DIIIIIIIIIIIE!!!!1!1!1!
@TwoAdults: June 19, 2012: I am wearing a dress that would hide a food baby quite well. Am feeling as if I should maximize this at lunchtime.
@TemerityJane: June 19, 2012: We are going to have to tell our children that we are SO OLD that there used to be another PLANET. They are going to make fun of us, guys.
@notperfect: June 19, 2012: @Kate_Welsh @jonniker no. If I wanted the taste and texture of beets I could lick a garden.
@jodifur: June 19, 2012: My father just told me he is going to read 50 shades of gray. I somehow can’t unknow that information.
@TwoAdults: June 19, 2012: I feel like when fruit turns brown that it’s just giving me the finger. Well, eff you, Fruit. I was eating you out of obligation anyway.
@ericahuff: June 19, 2012: Terrible mother tip: threaten your two-year-old with a diaper change and she will leave you alone for a minute.
@TubaSheila: June 19, 2012: Yesterday, I described a Scrub for Jeremy. As in, Hanging out the passenger side of his best friend’s ride, tryin’ to holla at me.
@onenjen: June 19, 2012: My kingdom for second toilet. Doesn’t even need to be part of a second bathroom. Could be freestanding in the kitchen at this point.
@letmepeeinpeace: June 20, 2012: My 12 year old daughter explaining Twilight to my 10 year old son: “They’re not scary vampires or anything, they only eat vegetarians.”
@andyouknow: June 20, 2012: My pants match the carpet. Not in a perverted way.
@MeganBoley: June 20, 2012: I got a new noise machine, but the white noise setting sounds like a robot saying “24 gallons” and then a duck call. Listening too hard.
@TemerityJane: June 20, 2012: I had to hurry on. I panic-grabbed a kielbasa.
@TwoAdults: June 21, 2012: This morning in the car Ezra sang me a song. “Tornado! Tornado! I love you like a potato!” It’s catchy, yo.
@alldressedup: June 21, 2012: You know it’s laundry day when you’re wearing all maternity clothes and you haven’t been pregnant in over two years.
@ChristinaRTS: June 21, 2012: Dieting is like sex in your 20′s, everything is so fresh and shiny but you’re always left unsatisfied.